Telling “Our Stories” (1)
For years now, I’ve encouraged my long-time partner, 40 years my senior, to write his memoirs. He’s led an absolutely fascinating life – eldest of 11 on a Nebraska farm, Catholic monk-turned-social worker, gay rights pioneer in his own fashion – and he’s got all kinds of stories, insights, and life-lessons to share. In a gesture I’ve found endearing and wholly in keeping with his character, it’s an idea he’s always gently dismissed, his signature brand of self-effacing modesty preventing him from even considering it.
That is, until a few months ago. Last September, we celebrated the big 80 and, due in part to the concomitant review of his life and, perhaps, a changing perspective on the importance of his own experiences as he’s aged, he’s finally warmed up to the idea of telling his story. Not long after his birthday, he undertook a few first attempts at collecting and organizing his memories, some of which even I’d never heard.
Yet, it’s been evident that he’s struggling to tackle a project like this on his own. Of course, some of this is age-related. For one thing, his memory isn’t quite what it used to be (I mean, whose is!?). He also has a hard time sustaining the necessary level of concentration to write. Physically, it’s difficult anymore to sit at the computer, and writing by hand is no longer feasible. These things are understandable and to be expected, though they still sometimes leave him feeling discouraged or overly-fatigued.
In addition to these age-related challenges, however, my partner simply doesn’t have the literary tools to undertake an endeavor like this. Many of the basic components of writing elude him; things like organizing historical timelines and themes, conceptualizing and developing narrative structure and arc, producing compelling and sympathetic characters with depth, or identifying and pulling on the affective threads that might interest a reader all represent an underdeveloped skillset for him. Nor does he have the attention to detail, sharp eye, or patience needed to edit anything he has managed to write. These are, however, things I can help him with.
Watching my partner confront these challenges with grace, humility, and not a little frustration has inspired me to begin working with other LGBTQ+ storytellers who, for any number of reasons, could use some help in sharing their stories. Regardless of whether you’re already writing and in need of an editor to help you further develop or make presentable your manuscript, or at the beginning stages of brainstorming your project and organizing your thoughts, I can meet you where you are in the process.
I’m currently booking out editing and coaching spots for the next couple of months, and I’d love to hear about the projects you’re working on. I offer a free ½ hour informational 1-on-1 call to prospective client-storytellers, during which you can tell me all about what you’re working on, or what you’d like to be working on, and I can provide you with some idea of how my training, background, and expertise can be of use. Feel free to contact me here through private message, or via email at ifeditingcoaching@gmail.com.
